【案例指点】GMAT名师实例点评优秀满分范文手把手教你写好作文拿高分

2017年12月18日16:10 来源：小站整理: 参与（1）阅读（3691）

摘要：GMAT作文备考时许多考生都会寻找一些范文进行参考学习，但如何真正看懂一篇范文好在哪里或者有哪些地方值得学习，可能考生还并不太清楚。本文将为大家介绍GMAT

对于GMAT考试写作部分的一些技巧，比如结构安排、开头关键句写法、合理安排文章内容等技巧，相信许多考生通过平时的一些练习，已经熟记于心。但是一些写作方面的细节，特别是字数这个看上去比较实在的指标，大家经常不能确定GMAT作文字数到底多少最佳。对于GMAT写作来说，合理的字数更能展示一个人良好的语言功底和写作技巧。所以，下文就通过一些标准和一篇官方范文的实例分析来为大家介绍GMAT写作字数相关的问题。

官方满分范文分析

下面是一篇官方给出满分的ARGUMENT范文，大家可以一起赏析一下，看看它为何能拿到6分满分。

题目

The following appeared as part of an article in a daily newspaper:

"Most companies would agree that as the risk of physical injury occurring on the job increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Hence it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer: they could thus reduce their payroll expenses and save money."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

首段

This argument states that it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer because by making the workplace safer then lower wages could be paid to employees. This conclusion is based on the premise that as the list of physical injury increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. However, there are several assumptions that may not necessarily apply to this argument. For example, the costs associated with making the workplace safe must outweigh the increased payroll expenses due to hazardous conditions. Also, one must look at the plausability of improving the work environment. And finally, because most companies agree that as the risk of injury increases so will wages doesn’t necessarily mean that the all companies which have hazardous work environments agree.

中间段1

The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment. Clearly one could argue that if making the workplace safe would cost an exorbitant amount of money in comparison to leaving the workplace as is and paying slightly increased wages than it would not make sense to improve the work environment. For example, if making the workplace safe would cost $100 million versus additional payroll expenses of only $5,000 per year, it would make financial sense to simply pay the increased wages. No business or business owner with any sense would pay all that extra money just to save a couple dollars and improve employee health and relations. To consider this, a cost benefit analysis must be made. I also feel that although a cost benefit analysis should be the determining factor with regard to these decisions making financial sense, it may not be the determining factor with regard to making social, moral and ethical sense.

中间段2

This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment. This is not the case. Companies look at other considerations such as the negative social ramifications of high on-job injuries. For example, Toyota spends large amounts of money improving its environment because while its goal is to be profitable, it also prides itself on high employee morale and an almost perfectly safe work environment. However, Toyota finds that it can do both, as by improving employee health and employee relations they are guaranteed a more motivated staff, and hence a more efficient staff; this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.

中间段3

Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.

结尾段

In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment (i.e., coal mine). Before any decision is made, all this things 　　must be considered, not simply the reduction of payroll expenses.

上面就是这篇满分范文，特别值得注意的优点在于

1. GMAT作文字数高达599words, 充分体现了字数为王的判分倾向。

2. GMAT考试时采取标准的五段制，首段、末端，中间三段，看上去很美。

3. 没有陈词滥调、满篇废话的模板式语言。

范文分析

这篇GMAT作文采用的是考生熟知的段落结构，整篇文章看上去非常优美。字数安排的也非常合理，可以算是一篇十分标准的满分佳作。

GMAT写作满分评分标准(官方英文原版)

A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated critique of the argument and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.

A typical paper in this category exhibits the following characteristics:

1.clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them insightfully

2.develops ideas cogently, organizes them logically, and connects them with clear transitions

3.effectively supports the main points of the critique